Role Models
"Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. Until I arrive, attend to the reading, exhortation, and teaching ..... Be diligent in these matters, be absorbed in them, so that your progress may be evident to everyone. Attend to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in both tasks, for by doing so you will save both yourself, and those who listen to you." 1 Timothy 4:12-16
Today, more than ever, our society and our children are strongly influenced by Hollywood and the entertainment industry. It only takes a walk down a public school hall to witness this effect on even the youngest of our society. Last year, while walking down an elementary (K-4) school hallway in rural America, each child had a poster on his/her locker sharing the things they liked and admired. While some had horses, sports, and other activities, most posters also had various stars and singers. The main ones I noted were Katy Perry and Lady Gaga . While I could go into great detail about each of these stars and why they are obviously not positive role models for young girls, I won’t do that here. That would be a whole different post. (If you are questioning why I do not think they are positive role models - I will add a few links at the bottom to peruse about these stars.) Suffice it to say – they each have songs with very questionable and controversial lyrics, and they both have multiple pictures and videos that show our young girls that provocativeness is attractive and desired.
I think many parents today are not aware of the risk of
exposing young hearts and minds to the “stars” of today. Most of us who are parents right now – grew up
with little oversight from our parents in regards to music, movies, and the
stars we were exposed to. But it really
was a different world back then. I don’t
think parents today can sit back and not take a very active and even proactive part in this aspect of a child’s
life. While we cannot completely shelter
our children from Hollywood stars, television, books, and the influence brought
by other children in regards to this type of exposure, we can at least provide
a filter for our children in what we allow them to watch, listen to, and
read. There are so many good options out
there for books, movies and music - why do we allow them to waste time on the
junk. I heard a great saying once, “Junk
in, means junk out.” What we put in our
bodies/minds – usually shows up coming out – in words, behavior, etc… For example - we cannot continually watch
Lady Gaga videos – and not end up truly confused, and not expect acting out (I
was physically ill after watching 2 of them). We cannot expect our children not to be sassy or talk back if they
spent hours watching SpongeBob. We need
to be very proactive when it comes to what goes into our children’s eyes and
ears. Once it is there – it may be hard
to reverse it. Our children will not be
lacking for culture if we only take control of what they are exposed to. A great book to consider to greatly expound on this is Home Invasion by Rebecca
Hagelin. Highly recommended and I have a copy for anyone to borrow if you would like.
I believe it is also critical to continually expose them to
positive role models – ones that they can look up to, want to emulate, and
follow. These positive role models will
then hopefully outweigh the glamour of those other “stars” that some find so
appealing. While this takes time on the
parents part with research and education – aren’t our kids worth it?? They get hours a day bombarded with a certain
type of image and role model. We need
to step up to the plate and make sure they are seeing the role models we want
them to see and learn about.
There are many wonderful female role models out there, and I
will touch on a few more well- known ones that have become our family’s
favorites. Then, please share yours also in the comments if you would
like.
First, however, it may be helpful to define a role
model. A role model is someone we can
look to – who mirrors and lives out the virtues that we want to strive
for. Someone we can look at and say – “I
want to be like her”. As a parent of
young girls, I take this very seriously when I consider who my girls are
exposed to and who might be a role model to them. In considering a role model – I am struck by
some of the women in the media that may be role models to some. The question I ask myself about a possible
role model is - what really matters to that person? What is the final end or goal to their
actions? Is this a goal that is
reasonable or desired by me or my children?
I think we need to really ask that question in regards to some of these
persons out there before we allow them to become a role model to someone we
love. If the end/goal of that person is
“ME”, we likely want to look elsewhere for a role model. Our society would collapse if everyone had
the ultimate goal of “me”. And
unfortunately, in the entertainment industry and in the political world, there
is a lot of “me” and “what I want”
out there, even if it comes at the expense of others.
Getting back to the positive, I will start with a role model
that I recently reflected upon, and it struck me how she truly is the ultimate
role model for all women and girls. And
that is Mary.
Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus, really embodies all the
virtues I want to have myself, and that I want to see in my girls. Mary was humble and gentle. She said her yes (her Fiat) to God, even
though it meant persecution and ostracism.
Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be done with me according to your word.—Luke 1:38 She followed God’s plan which saved all of us – even though it broke her
heart to see Jesus on that cross. She
submitted her own will and her life to the will of our Lord. Although this all may seem out of touch with
us personally and our lives – it really isn’t.
After reflecting on this I asked myself the following questions:-Am I humble and gentle, especially when it comes to how I interact with my children and others?
-Do I give my yes to God and His will – even if it seems hard at times? Even if it means I don’t fit in to the culture of today’s world and I am left out – or even persecuted and made fun of?
-Do I fully submit my will to the will of God – even when that means putting others first?
Lastly,
I believe the best place to find positive role models for ourselves and our
children – is in our own churches, neighborhoods, and communities. By finding people we personally know that
embody the virtues we strive for – we may feel more able to accomplish that. Our children may look at Mother
Teresa or other famous role models – and feel that they can never achieve
something like that. So let’s find role models that they can look
up to, emulate, grow and learn from. How
about the neighbor that visits his wife in the nursing home every single day
rain or shine? That type of marital dedication is something to admire and
strive for. How about the person at
church who tirelessly volunteers, to help others and to help share God’s word
and love? There are many of these
examples so readily available if we only look for the good in others and strive
to achieve those virtues. We may have to
pick and choose different virtues from different people – since we are all
human – striving to do our best. Take the time this week to look around, and
see the goodness in others. See who can
be role models to you and your family.
Maybe take some time to get to know some of these people. Make a list of virtues you would like as
goals for you and your children – and examples of people with those
virtues. Then strive to be more like
them. Hopefully some day you will then be that example of a role
model to your children and others (if you are not already :)). I
know I sure hope to be! I will also be
making my lists and discussing with my girls over the next few weeks. Praying for you if you choose to embark on
this task – and please pray for me as we do the same! We are in this journey together. It is our role and duty as Christians to help
each other along the path to becoming Saints for the kingdom of Heaven. Thank you for being a part of my journey.
in sickness and in health.
Links to Katy Perry:
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2011/05/10/katy_perry_surprised_by_sesame_street_(Katy Perry – wearing revealing clothing on Sesame Street??? Then it gets cut from the show due to controversy….so she wears this to make fun of that on SNL???)
(Check out Katy’s choice on dressing young girls for a video??? Oh – and have you seen the video for California Girls?)
(Check out the new video she made. Dressed in Vampire like clothing – feeding into the whole Twilight frenzy. States she “needs nothing to complete me” - really – don’t we all need God to complete us?
And ends the video by showing a fake Prince Charming (as if there are no “true men” out there) - and she punches him.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/rockandpopmusic/8463228/Lady-Gaga-Top-10-Controversies.html
(Lady Gaga – read and see if this is someone we want as a
role model for anyone – young or old??)
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/lady-gaga-courts-controversy-with-suicide-song-princess-die/story-e6frfn09-1226411004293(Song about suicide – yet no offering of hope or help)
(Not quite sure what to even say about this one. Watch the video if you are not convinced that her music and videos should not be heard/seen by children and teens. Preferably with no other eyes on this please. The only thing I can think as I watched this – as I too, like my kids, was blissfully ignorant of this prior to this post – was twisted, disturbed, and pure pornography – available to all on news clips and youtube. It makes me want to get on my knees and pray for her and all those involved. And our kids are watching these??
